Cazitudes

Reflections - JQ23

JQ23 - What do you value, and why?

How often do we pause and give thought to what it is we truly value in our lives?  I would wager it's a relatively rare exercise for many of us.  I wonder how much better life would be, holistically, if we all gave regular consideration to our values.

It always helps me to have a clear understanding of the definition of a word, that I can see and understand its depth of symbolic meaning - its 'felt sense,' as it were...

values (n.) - the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth or usefulness of something; a person's principles or standard of behaviour; one's judgment of what is important; to hold a high opinion of.

What is important to me, what values do I hold in high esteem?  Here are some key ones for me:  (a) transparency, (b) honesty, (c) reflection, (d) generosity, (e) mercy, (f) curiosity, (g) independence, (h) open-mindedness, (i) creativity, (j) affection, (k) tolerance, (l) friendship, (m) compassion, (n) humour, (o) leadership, (p) love, (q) optimism, (r) respect, (s) spirituality, (t) wisdom, (u) adventure, (v) resilience, (w) responsibility, (x) authenticity, (y) community, (z) service.

Why do I hold these particular values in high esteem?  Because they are key contributors to an authentic life experience, because they undergird sense of community and belonging, because they express connection to self and others, because they are conduits to finding the highest and best version of self and collective.  Because they imbue the energy of a better way of being.  Because they help me 'be.'  There must be a balance in give and receive and these values help deliver balance to these living expressions.  I cannot know the highest and best in life if I do not give of myself, to the Divine and to others; in turn, I cannot know the highest and best in life if I do not receive likewise from the Divine and those who are intimate part of my life, or who intersect my personal trajectory as they too move through life.

Holding true to these values have given direction and clarity, have paved the way for magnificent experiences and understandings, have made my life the richer for their expressions.

And I have very much valued the soul journey of these 23 journal questions over the last 9 months.  It has been so good to give pause and consider, equally from head and heart, these queries to my soul.  They have been evocative and inspiring. And, so - there go I, and here I am found.

Reflections - JQ22

JQ22 - How do you allow your head to deprive your heart?

For one who has loved to live in a cerebral world of analytical deductions and intellectual mastications, this question is... sticky and uncomfortable.  [Do I really want to give this consideration?]  *sigh*

I suppose if I were to boil it all down to its simplest elements I would express like this: I think instead of feel; that's how my head deprives my heart.

It has been a lifelong default, honed in precision through the myriad experiences had from the time of early childhood.  To feel things was to be vulnerable, and considered weak by 'the herd,' who would then pick on and bully me.  I learned that if I wanted to be 'safe' in the crowd, I had to keep my feelings under tight wrap - the moment I felt hurt or less-than, they pounced.

I learned to be a "rough-tough cream puff."  One who leaned on and relied upon her thinking capacities instead of allowing herself to feel things as they were in the moment.  That shut-down led me down some life-paths of pain.  I wandered down them anyhow, because I did  not allow myself to listen to my feelings.

This I know to be true: the heart never lies.  The intuition does not lead astray - the inner wisdom of our feelings remains true to our core essence. 

Now, I work to remain actively aware and attuned to my inner world of feeling - I give those feelings a voice to my conscious awareness... I let them plead their case in the court halls of my rationale.  They get equal weighting in consideration and understanding.  My feelings don't always get enough airtime in my considerations, but as I grow older I am coming to trust them far more; their credence has proven to be golden.

Keeping a balanced view between thoughts and feelings is a fine-tuned wisdom.  It takes daily practice to keep the balance intact.  My headspace still wins out over my heart on occasion - old habits die hard, after all.

One of my psychotherapy teachers taught me something profound and simple, that helps with it all - she said to me, "Carrie, thank your mind for being so diligent and aware - and then tell your mind it can now stand down and take a vacation for a bit while your heart steps up and expresses itself."  She taught me to say, 'thank you mind, for your diligence.  I don't need you to stand guard at the moment, you can take a holiday for a bit.  I will call you back to action later.'  Doing so has indeed allowed my intuitive heart sense to come forward and be.  Mind feels honoured.  Heart feels safe and encouraged to share.  It's a win-win.

And, so.  A practice of stillness, of felt-sense awareness, of working to balance the energetic activity of body-mind I have found to be essential.  My heart knows and responds.  And as I continue to give space to this practice of balance, my mind relaxes and allows it to be so.  And Life is...

Reflections - JQ21

JQ21 - What do you think impresses God the most?

Well.  From my point of view, it's really quite simple - and it's believed across the faiths of the world.  Which is what brings love across the barriers dividing us... that is what I believe most impresses God:

Reflections - JQ20

JQ20 - Do you judge before you understand?

So this particular question hits right between the eyes, doesn't it? I mean, it does if one stops and absorbs and understands what exactly the question is asking in reflection.

And if I am honest with myself, I still do sometimes fall into quick judgment before seeking to understand; circumstances connected to me, or not, I can get into an ego-preach inside my skull where woe-betide those tried and sentenced from my cerebral podium!

More often than not, I pause and consider things from different angles, and assume there is indeed reason and purpose behind that which I don't fully comprehend.  I seek to take the road of mercy instead of swing the sword of judgment as often I can possibly consciously select to do so.  I have found that to be, by far, the more meaningful and enriching approach in life.  And, wow, the things I've learned by suspending judgment has been amazing.

When I worked in the postal administration's plant operations, managing the shifts, I learned very quickly that I could believe none of what I heard and less than half of what I saw.  It was a great training ground in applying the power of active listening and artful inquiry... and what I've learned over the years is that there are manifold stories and impacts behind the 'story' we see up front and centre.

Things are never as they seem.  Full stop.

I have decidedly moved away from a narrow band of tolerance and beliefs, that delivered to me through some pretty rough life experiences.  I can say now, though, that I am grateful for the various personal implosions I have encountered in my life - they grew me up, they expanded my perception, they opened my heart and mind and taught me that the biggest and brightest asset a person can have is an open mind, and one that seeks to first understand.

It's a rich, rich life when one does that.

We can so easily deceive ourselves, and think that we have the answers, we have 'the path' figured out, we have it right.  It's a big world, with 7+ billion souls on it... and 7+ billion personal experiences.  We can choose to operate in a whole lotta grace and open ourselves up to some pretty magnificent experiences.  Or we can choose to remain in our unconscious and untested perceptions of judgment, fed by our narrow band of held belief... and have a rut of experiences that keep us diminished.

The more I choose to understand (and learn!) and the less I choose to judge, the better my life gets, the happier I am, the more rewarding my experiences.

It's a great big world of souls and each and every one of them have manifold stories to share.  I'd like to understand as many as I can as I move through this life.  There is treasure to be found and held in doing so!

Maybe one day, I will come to a place where I walk in no judgment at all, simply the grace of seeking to understand.  I can hope and strive to do...